It’s a question I hear from clients all the time. Usually whispered while standing in front of a mirror wearing a great dress, a statement earring, or honestly… themselves.

And recently, I got the question from my husband.

Which made me laugh because if there’s one thing he knows about me, it’s this: I’ve never been interested in being “just enough.”

I’m a mood dresser. I dress for how I want to feel.

Some days I want to feel relaxed and understated. Other days I want to feel polished, elegant, powerful, sexy, playful, dramatic, creative, or completely effortless. My wardrobe changes with my energy the way a soundtrack changes the mood of a movie.

Because clothing isn’t just fabric. It’s atmosphere.

And that particular evening, I wanted atmosphere.

We were going to a new restaurant I had been excited to try. I had just finished a busy week styling clients, pulling together outfits, solving closet dilemmas, helping women step into stronger versions of themselves. I wanted to exhale into the evening feeling elevated and beautiful.

So I got dressed accordingly.

My perfect satin cargo pants.
A vest with a cutout back. A neck twilly with sparkly fringe detail. High Stiletto pointed toe shoe.
An ivory oversized blazer draped over my shoulders.
Hair done. Makeup on. Energy aligned.

My husband looked at me and said,
“Don’t you think that’s a little much?”

I smiled and said,
“No. I love this outfit.”

Because here’s what I’ve learned: when women ask “Is this too much?” what they’re often really asking is:

Will this make other people uncomfortable?
Will I stand out?
Will I look like I’m trying too hard?
Will people judge me for taking up space?

Meanwhile men will confidently wear the same button down shirt for 7 consecutive years and never question themselves once.

The truth is, “too much” is usually just code for visible confidence.

And confidence makes people uncomfortable when they’ve spent years shrinking themselves.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I immediately knew I had dressed perfectly for the space. The room was warm, sophisticated, beautifully designed. Nice lighting. Gorgeous interiors. The kind of place where the environment itself becomes part of the experience.

I love beautiful spaces.
I love design.
I love fashion.
I love details.

And when your outfit matches the energy of the room, something shifts. You don’t just enter the space… you belong in it.

We were seated immediately, and as I sat down, I realized the person dining right next to me was none other than the fabulous designer Christian Siriano.

We started chatting, and I congratulated him on the stunning interior because he had actually designed the lobby of the hotel where the restaurant is in himself. We talked fashion, design, creativity, the beauty of the room around us, and then went back to our dinners.

And in that moment, I had a realization.

Had I listened to the tiny voice in my head (or my husband!) that wondered if my outfit was “too much,” I might have changed. I might have toned it down. I might have made myself smaller to fit into someone else’s comfort zone.

Instead, I dressed in alignment with myself.

And I was grateful I did.

Not because Christian Siriano was there.
Not because anyone complimented me.
Not because I needed validation.

But because I felt like me.

That’s the thing about style no one talks about enough:
The right outfit doesn’t just change how you look.
It changes how you experience your life.

It changes the way you enter a room.
The way you carry a conversation.
The way you sit at the table.
The energy you bring into a space.

You stop observing your life from the sidelines and start participating in it.

So the next time you ask yourself,
“Is this too much?”

Ask a better question.

Too much… for whom?

Because maybe the life you want requires you to stop dressing like someone who’s afraid to be seen.

Is This Too Much?

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Is This Too Much?

I Know a Thing or Two About Shoes

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